Disability & Weddings: Working with Vendors for Your Accessible Wedding
Written and Photography by Kellie Hetler, Owner of Hetler Photography and Disability Advocate
Planning a wedding can be a fun and emotionally exhausting undertaking. When you are doing that as an individual with a disability, that exhaustion can become even more challenging… but it doesn’t have to. My goal here today is to make the wedding industry more accessible and welcoming to you, not only despite your disability but in celebration of it. I am a mother of two beautiful girls, Addison & Gabriella, Gabby having multiple disabilities. As a photographer of over seventeen years and seeing the immense weakness that my industry holds, my new goal is to get the wedding industry ready for my beautiful daughter and I need to start now.
We are all created wonderfully and imperfectly perfect, some just have those imperfections displayed more visibly. That doesn’t mean your wedding day should be less special, less exquisite, or less meaningful. It should be a day where you start your forever with that very person you found who makes you feel all those things; the butterflies, the excitement for tomorrow, the security of your future and the hope of each day being better than the last. Together.
Wedding vendors can become so very wrapped up in design, budgets and how they always do things. I know, I am one. Photographers can get stuck in a posing rut and freeze when someone rolls in with a wheelchair and bridal gown stores may offer dresses that simply won’t work because of your specific needs. They aren’t always intending poor service or hurt feelings, most often they just need to learn…as I did. As an interabled couple you need your day envisioned with a unique perspective or with a fresh twist on a traditional offering. As a bride or groom with a disability, is that you? And if it is, that’s great! I celebrate you!
When searching for your wedding vendors, don’t be afraid to ask additional questions, see what ideas they would have for you or see how they’ve gone the extra mile in the past. After all, we are creative people by nature in this industry…they should be able to create adaptive solutions. Choose vendors that make you feel good about who you are and who are equally excited to work with you in return. Find a photographer who wants to show off your disability or limb difference and embrace your beauty. Search for a florist who will create a masterpiece around your medical device or equipment that brings your unique story to life. Hunt for a venue that will allow your guest’s accommodations to be catered to so endless memories can be made. Don’t settle - this is a day worth investing in and celebrating no matter your differences.
When interviewing a potential vendor, consider asking them some or all of the following questions:
Have you ever worked with someone with my disability before?
What ideas do you have that will include my unique story?
What is one way you’ve thought outside the box in the past? What are some examples?
Do you have anyone in your circle with any disabilities?
How accessible are you during the planning process?
Is your space ADA accessible? If not, will you meet me somewhere that is?
Do you have any references that can give me insight into how it is to work with you?
Their responses to these questions and the way they make you feel will tell you so much. Even if a certain vendor hasn’t worked with someone just like you, that doesn’t mean they aren’t the right choice but at least this helps guide you in the right direction. The most important thing to do is to find people to serve you on your wedding day that you are comfortable with. In the end, they will always be the right choice.
So, this right here is the permission you’ve been needing - go out there and ask all the questions. Embrace your authentic self to create a wedding that tells your extraordinary story no one else has but you and your soon-to-be spouse. You are beautiful, amazing, and worthy just as you are. Your wedding day is going to be, too.