How to Tell Everyone You're Having a Tiny Wedding

Written by curator, Lisa Kathan Photography

So you’re planning to elope or have a tiny wedding — which means most of the people you know won’t be invited to celebrate your wedding day with you. However, you may have family or friends who find it difficult to accept your plans to marry small.

Here are a few tips to help ease them into your tiny wedding plans.

Be open, but be firm

Regardless of whether the decision to have a small wedding is about budget, family dynamics or personality, put it all out there. Be honest with your family and friends about why you’re planning to have a tiny wedding.

Are you introverted and 200 eyes on you would make it hard for you to enjoy your day? Are you on a strict budget and you want to have a beautiful ceremony with a dinner at a restaurant you love for a select few (rather than lots of people at someplace you hate)? If you briefly explain your reasoning, your family and friends may be more understanding.

Communicate early…and often

If you’re planning on having a small wedding, tell your key people (parents, siblings, best friends) about your plans as soon as you’re able. It may take a few times of communicating your plans to some people, and if you wait till the last minute, they might not take you seriously and may try to change your mind.

In fact, if you and your partner have discussed your plans to have a tiny wedding and you’re still not formally engaged — it’s not too early to start bringing it up!

Find other ways to celebrate

If you find it impossible to severely limit your guest list, have a private ceremony (or only invite immediate families), and then gather afterward at a bar or local joint for a casual party with other family and friends. Most people just want to be able to celebrate your day with you, so pick a super casual spot where you can control costs (if that’s a concern for you), and your family and friends will be thrilled that were part of your wedding day.

If budget is part of your reason for having a tiny wedding and you wan to cut costs further, hire a photographer to capture you private ceremony, family photos, and photos of the two of you, and let phone photos serve as your memories for the party.

Pick a small location

Unfortunately, some couples have family or friends who are going to give them a hard time — regardless. If this is your case, pick a very small location that limits your guest size. Then if parents or others try to coax you into inviting more people…there’s a capacity limit and nothing can be done about it!

A note to family and friends…

Let’s normalize making the wedding day all about the couple! It’s their day, after all — they should be able to look back on their wedding memories with joy, not with stress and regret. So give them a beautiful wedding gift: the support they need, realizing that the number of guests at their wedding will not necessarily make a more successful marriage.

And above all else, enjoy and celebrate that you’re such a special part of the couple’s wedding day!

Need help with your tiny wedding or elopement? We’re tiny wedding specialists, and we have lots of great ideas for getting married small in Chicago. Check out our SIMPLY WED package!